Let Go
by adbailey
Summary: SVU cathches a case that really gets to Olivia. Will she let Elliot be there for her or keep pushing him away? Eventually OE Oh yea...I do not own these characters...they belong to dick wolf unfortunately!
1. First Vic

It was midnight and Olivia Benson finally laid down to get a good night's rest. They had just closed a big case that had taken up most of the squad's time for the last two weeks. It was one of the rare cases that ended before the perp had hurt the victim. It made every minute of hard work worth while. Here lately she had been working in overdrive because her partner had some focus problems. He was going through a separation that only she knew existed so she was really having to cover him. He did not want everyone finding out because he hated sympathy and personal questions. Olivia was good not to give him either. She would ask questions sometimes but she knew better than to push. She knew her partner and she knew that he would talk when he was ready. She thought about calling and checking on him but instead she laid on her pillow and quickly drifted off to sleep hoping that no one would bother her until she woke on her own.

Across town in Queens, Elliot Stabler lay in his bed thinking of his family. They had been gone for a month but things never started getting easier. Elliot missed hearing his kids fighting as soon as he opened the door when he got home from work. He missed the chaotic mornings when everyone was trying to get ready at the same time and kept bumping into one another in the hallway. He missed helping Kathleen with her math and the twins with their science projects. Sometimes he even missed his wife. He still loved her but he wasn't in love with her. They had been growing apart for the last two years. He just couldn't talk to her about everything and she didn't understand that. She thought that he was keeping things from her and that is what they fought about mostly. So one day about a month ago when he got home from work all he found was a note from Kathy. It explained how she couldn't do "this" anymore and how he would have to pick her or his job, he couldn't be married to both. That infuriated him. How could she ask him to make that kind of decision. This job is who he was and he knew she would never understand that. Sometimes he hated his job but he felt like he had to do it. He couldn't see himself in any other department. He had called Kathy and talked to her but she stood by her ultimatum. They finally agreed to separate and see what happened. She had taken the kids and went to her mom's house and left him alone to think about all of the decisions he had made. Olivia had told him to call his wife when she seen how bad he was taking it but he wouldn't do it. He knew everyone would be miserable if they tried to work things out and he refused to put his kids thru all of the fighting and the huge let down when things went to pot all over again. He knew him and Kathy were not in love anymore and they never would be again. Even though he was still having a very difficult time he refused to get back together with her just because he couldn't stand to be alone. Kathy let him see the kids whenever he wanted to so that was not a big issue. He did miss coming home to them every night but he knew he could always go and pick them up if he got off work in time and he had even let them stay over and took them to school the next morning whenever he could. He finally started drifting off around 1:00. Little did he know, he would not have long to sleep.

At 3:00 am Olivia's cell rang waking her from her restless sleep. "Benson," she said groggily.

"Olivia, I know you haven't been asleep long but I need you and Elliot down 5th and Lexington as quickly as possible. We've got a rape homicide and Munch and Fin are already there canvassing. Call Elliot and have him meet you down there," Captain Donald Cragen said.

"Yea, be right there," Olivia said holding the phone away from her ear a little. She had a terrible headache probably from lack of sleep and Cragen wasn't helping any by talking so loudly into the phone. She ended their call and hit two on her speed dial. As she waited for Elliot to answer she grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt and threw them on her bead.

"Stabler," he finally said impatiently into his phone.

"Sorry to rain on your parade but our full nights sleep got cut short. We've got a rape homicide at 5th and Lexington. Meet me there, I'll stop for coffee." Olivia said as she pulled her pants on.

"Ugh, I just got to sleep good. Okay, I'll see you in a little while." Elliot responded. They both flipped their phones shut at the same time. Olivia left about five minutes later and drove through Starbucks on the way. She finally arrived at the crime scene around 3:45. "What do you got for us?" she asked Dr. Melinda Warner as she walked up to the body.

"Female, late teens early twenties. COD is a knife wound through the heart but she was tortured before that. She has restraint marks around her wrists and ankles and a lot of cuts and bruises, some look to be at least a week old. She is also very dehydrated. See how when I pinch the skin it stays that way for a while. He probably held her captive for a week and didn't bother to give her any water much less feed her anything. Time of death looks to be between 11 and 1. I will have to get her back to the lab before I can give you anymore." Warner said before motioning to one of her techs to come and load the body. "Thanks, call if you get anything else. Elliot and I will hit missing persons and see if they have anything," Olivia said as Elliot walked up eyeing the body as it went by. "You got coffee?" he asked as he turned back toward Olivia. "Well hello to you to Elliot. And yes that is our only victim, she was killed from a stab wound to the heart. Thanks for asking. Oh by the way, your coffee is in the cup holder in my car," Olivia snapped. She knew he had been through a lot lately but it was her job as his partner to keep him on the straight and narrow. "Sorry Liv, I am just really tired okay." he apologized. "Yea Elliot, join the club. Everyone here got woke up in the middle of the night just like you. We are all really tired," she said as she turned and walked to her car. He took the coffee from her, "Thank you, why don't we meet back at the station house and grab a sedan before going to missing persons." he suggested. "Sounds like a plan," she nodded and got into her car.

By the time they arrived at missing persons it was 5:00 in the morning. "Liv, I'm sorry about this morning. I know your just as tired as I am and I want to thank you for taking up my slack here lately. I know I have been off my game and there is no excuse for that. Just start kicking me in the butt a little more often and get me going again. I don't want you to do my work for me anymore." Elliot said as they parked the car. Olivia let out a small laugh, "I have no problem kicking you in the butt," she smiled at him before continuing, "Elliot, I don't mind helping you out here and there. I understand you are having a tough time but I will promise you to do my best to keep you going on the job. In return, just let me know what is going on with you instead of brooding all the time. It will make you feel better." Elliot nodded in response. Olivia gave him a small smile in return. She knew how hard it was for Elliot to let things out but she also knew she understood him better than anyone else including Kathy. She knew what he saw every day because she saw the same thing. She also felt the same anger and frustration that he felt day after day. And yet again, here they go starting on another case of some unidentified innocent young girl who was unable to survive this deadly city in which they lived.

"Give me a general description of your vic and I will see if I have a match," said Tores, the man that Olivia and Elliot were talking to. "Around 5'7", 125 lbs, brown hair, green eyes, late teens/early twenties, no visible tattoos or markings," Olivia said. "Hmm, let me see, we have five possible matches. I'll pull up their photos," Tores said. He pulled up all of the photos and then enlarged each one so that the detectives could see them up close. "That's her," Olivia said as Tores pulled up the third picture. "Andrea Stinson, age 21. Missing for five days, reported by her mother" Tores said as he was interrupted by Olivia's cell phone. "Benson…we'll be right there." She closed her phone and attached it back to her hip while nodding her head to Elliot. "That was Warner. She's got something for us." Elliot nodded and turned towards Tores, "We will call you later for the address and the rest of the information on Ms. Stinson." Tores nodded, "Ill print it out and have it faxed to your office if that will help you any." "Thanks, I will let my Captain know." Elliot replied as he followed Olivia towards the exit.

A few minutes later the two partners entered the morgue. "What gives?" Elliot asked when he seen Warner hard at work. "Well, I missed this at the crime scene because I didn't roll her but when I was doing my pre autopsy exam I seen it," Warner replied leading them to the victim. "I still haven't made sense of it though. It is definitely odd." Warner uncovered the victims back to reveal the mark the perp had left on her shoulder blade. Olivia and Elliot looked at it and then each other. Olivia then looked back at Warner, "Bastard child, I wonder what that means." Elliot shrugged his shoulders, "Lets go figure it out. Thanks Warner, call us if you get anything else." Warner nodded and the two detectives left.

"Munch is running the perps Mo and then him and Fin are going to finish canvassing the area," Elliot told Olivia as he pulled the car over at Carla Stinson's house. "A knife through the heart seems pretty personal. Maybe we can call Huang over later to start a profile," Olivia suggested. "You really think that is going to help?" Elliot scoffed. He was not big on psychiatrists and everyone knew it. Olivia rolled her eyes as they exited the car and walked to the front door. "I hate this part of the job," Olivia commented before Elliot knocked on the door. A middle aged woman opened the door and looked at the two detectives. Elliot and Olivia flashed their badges, "Are you Carla Stinson?" Olivia asked. "Yes, this is about Andrea isn't it?" Ms. Stinson asked with her bottom lip quivering. "Yes it is. I am so sorry Ms. Stinson but we think we may have found her body last night. Is there any way you can come make an identification," Olivia asked in a soft soothing voice. Ms. Stinson covered her mouth and a few tears ran down her cheek. She then nodded, "Let me get my coat."

After Ms. Stinson had made a positive ID Olivia led Elliot over to a corner in the morgue, "I will take her home and you can stay for the autopsy. I want to ask her a few questions and then I will be on my way back." Elliot shook his head and leaned a little closer so that Ms. Stinson for sure wouldn't here him, "She is handling this way too well Liv. That woman is a ticking time bomb and if she explodes it may get ugly. We will take her home, ask her a few questions, and then both come back for the autopsy.." "Fine," she snapped, "I was just trying to save some time. Let's go."

When they were back at Ms. Stinson's home, she invited the two detectives inside. She told them she would answer all of their questions if it would help find Andrea's killer. "Ms. Stinson, do you know anyone who would want to hurt your daughter?" Olivia asked. The woman shook her head, "No, as far as I know Andrea did not have any enemies. She worked at a day care and she never talked about having any problems. She loved working with the kids. They were all she thought about." Olivia smiled, "What about a boyfriend? Did Andrea have one?" "No, she dated some but she never stayed in a relationship for very long. There wasn't many people that she would let get close to her. Her best friend Julie at the daycare may be able to help you more," Ms. Stinson said. Elliot nodded then asked, "What about Andrea's father, where is he?" Carla Stinson's eyes fell to the floor, "Detective, I don't know who Andrea's father is. I was…I was raped 24 years ago. They never found the man who did it. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant with Andrea. I have never forgotten that night but I love my daughter very much. It was hard at first but she was still my baby. I was always afraid that I would see his face in her but she got most of my features. I just thank God everyday that she was a girl. If she had been a boy I don't think I could have handled it." Elliot glanced at Olivia before replying. Olivia nodded, "Okay, if we need anything else we will be in touch. Here is my card, call me if you think of or need anything." And with that Olivia was turned and headed for the door. Ms. Stinson grabbed her arm and Olivia froze in mid stride. She looked at Ms. Stinson, "What is it?" Carla looked up at her, "Detective Benson, please catch Andrea's killer. She has suffered her whole life. She deserves justice." Elliot was a little confused but Olivia simply nodded in understanding. They walked out the door and toward the car. She could feel Elliot staring at her. "I'm fine Elliot, it's just another case," she said without turning to face him. "Liv, you know, it's okay not to be," he said. Olivia stopped and turned to face him, "Look, I'm okay. I don't want to talk about how this case affects my personal life. Let's just get through it okay," she snapped. Elliot threw his hands up in defense, "Fine, whatever you say." They got into the sedan and headed back towards the morgue for the autopsy.


	2. Trust

**okay...I am posting two chapters intwo days but they may slow down after that. I will do my best to post one at least every other day but only if you do your best in leaving me reviews! Yea, I'm a review junky! So if you wanna hear more you betta let me know! Anyways...on with the story. It picks up directly after the first chapter ends. Olivia and Elliot are in the car on their way back to the morgue for the autopsy of Andrea Stinson...oh and by the way, they are not mine...Here we go...**

Both detectives sat in silence for the majority of the ride back to the morgue. Elliot was trying to figure out what was running through his partner's head while Olivia was just staring blankly out the window. Finally Olivia spoke, "Well, I guess know we know what the rapist meant by bastard child."

Elliot nodded, "Yea but I am still a little confused by what her mother said about her daughter suffering. I would think that if anyone suffered it would have been the mother herself," he said carefully.

Olivia looked at him as if he were a child asking a stupid question to his impatien mother, "Elliot, she grew up not knowing anything about her father. His race, religion, ethnic background, they are all a mystery. She had no idea what kind of person was inside of her. Every day when she walked down the street and seen all kinds of different men, she would wonder if any of them could be him."

Elliot looked at her, "Is that how you feel too?" he questioned.

"El, this isn't about me," she said while looking out the window. Elliot let out a sigh. It was no use. He could not get her to open up to him. He knew she hated being pitied and feeling vulnerable but that is not how he seen her. He thought of Olivia Benson as a very strong woman. She had overcame so many obstacles in her life. She was a child of rape and, like Andrea, her father had never been caught. Her mother had been an alcoholic and most of Olivia's childhood years were spent taking care of herself and her mother. Then, a few years ago, her mother had died. Elliot had tried to be there for her, and he was as much as she would let him. Olivia had always had a hard time opening up. She did not like to talk about her past but if she ever needed to Elliot is who she went to. He knew her better than anyone else. He may be the only person she halfway trusted. As partners, they had grown very close over the years and even closer since Elliot and Kathy seperated. Captain Cragen looked at them as his two best detectives. In the interrogation room they were amazing. They always knew what one another was going to do or say and they always had each others back. However, when they did not agree on something you could bet that everyone in the precinct would know about it because they would tell each other exactly what they thought. They did not fight very often but when they did, everyone heard it. Somehow though, they usually ended up on the same page. That is what Cragen loved about them. Even when they fought they made progress.

Finally Olivia and Elliot were about to pull into the parking lot. Elliot looked across at Olivia who was still staring out the window. He placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently, "Liv, if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

He expected her to snap at him but instead she looked at him with glossy eyes and slightly nodded. That said more to Elliot than words ever could. "Let's get this over with. It's been a long day and I'm starving," she said as she opened the car door. Elliot just nodded and followed her.

The autopsy only found a little new evidence. "The victim was held in restraints for around four to five days. She was repeatedly raped and cut. Her stomach contents were empty which meant the perp had more than likely not fed her since he grabbed her. There were traces of spermicide but no fluids. This guy did not leave a trace of evidence on the body and given that he held her for almost a week, that is almost impossible. I'd say your dealing with an extremely smart perp," Warner said. "There were also bruises on her inner and outer thighs that look like knee marks, bruises on her upper arms that look like they were caused by the heel of his hand, and a lot of vaginal trauma. He had her pinned so tightly to the ground that she couldn't move an inch. That explains why there is no evidence under her nails. Probably after the second or third time she just stopped fighting."

Olivia shook her head in disgust. "He hated her," she said to no one in particular.

"Sorry detectives but that is all I can give you," Warner said.

"What about the knife? Any idea what kind?" Elliot asked.

"I would say it looks like a hunting knife. It pierced the skin cleanly. After the hell that this girl went through, at least she died instanty," Warner said.

"Thanks, call if you get anything else," Elliot said as he led Olivia out of the morgue and back towards the sedan.

­­­­­­­­­­­­"Munch, you get anything off that MO?" Elliot asked as they entered the precinct.

"No, nothing matches. We've got girls stabbed and something like 'whore' or 'bitch' written on them but never right through the heart and never the word bastard," Munch answered.

It was now nearing 6 pm and all of the detectives were exhausted from doing paperwork and trying to find some sort of starting point, but they found nothing. Cragen finally came out of his office, "Go home, get some rest, and we will start fresh in the morning."

Munch and Fin immediately packed up and headed for the door. Elliot read teh rest of the file he was on and then began to put everything away. Olivia however, never looked up. She looked to be very deep in thought and not near ready to quit working. "Liv, you find something?" Elliot asked.

"No, but I feel like I'm missing something," she replied.

"Come on, lets go get something to eat. Whatever your missing will still be there in the morning," he told her.

Olivia closed the file and put on her coat. She picked up the files on her desk, "I think I may look over these again after I eat."

Elliot picked up the files on his desk. He knew Olivia wouldn't sleep until they had a hold on this guy. "Let's just make a night of it. My place or yours?" he asked.

She smiled back at him and replied, "Mine's closer." He nodded, "Yours it is."

They arrived at Olivia's apartment a little while later with several different boxes of chinese food and an arm full of files. Elliot grabbed two plates and some forks from Olivia's kitchen and Olivia set the files on the coffee table in the living room. She then went into the kitchen and grabbed two beer from the refrigerator. "Let's eat," she said as she sat down at the bar.

They ate and talked about things unrelated to work like Elliot's kids and Olivia's nonexistant dating life. They laughed and joked until they were finished and then things turned serious. Elliot grabed two more beer and then they both went and sit on the couch to look over the files. "Okay, I think we can both agree that being a child of rape had something to do with this," Elliot said.

"Without a doubt," Olivia nodded a little uncomfortablly.

"So, you tell me how many people know that you are a product of rape," Elliot said carefully. He knew this was a touchy subject even though Olivia tried to act like it wasn't.

Olivia tilted her head sideways and looked at him, "Not many. Only the people that I am close with and trust." Elliot looked at her with furrowed eye brows. "What?" she asked.

"Liv, you don't trust anyone," he told her.

She cut her eyes at him, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she asked defensively.

Elliot wondered why he said that without thinking, "Well, you do to a certain extent but deep down, the only person you trust is you."

Deep down she knew he was right. On the outside she was strong and independent but in reality, she was just to scared to let anyone get too close. She was afraid of what could be inside her and she wanted to hide that person from everyone, including herself. But it hurt her to think that Elliot thought she didn't trust him. She did trust him, with her life. Just not with her heart. "Elliot, what makes you think that I don't trust you?" she questioned.

Elliot sighed, "Liv, let's just drop it. We have to try and figure this out because I don't know about you, but I'm dead." He looked back down at the file and pretended to read.

After a few seconds Olivia decided he was right, "Alright, so it has to be someone that knew her. Your right, there is no way she walked around telling people who her father was. We need to talk to her friends. Let's hit the daycare first thing in the morning."

"Okay," Elliot agreed, "do you want to look over these files somemore?"

"Maybe for a little while," she said, "but you can go home and get some rest if you want." She knew he was exhausted but she also knew she could never sleep until she knew everything in those files by heart just to be sure she wasn't missing anything.

"No, I'm fine," he told her. He knew how she was. She wouldn't stop until someone made her. About an hour and a half later Elliot looked up to find Olivia staring out the window. "Liv, you okay?"

Olivia jumped at the sound of his voice. "Yea, I'm fine," she responded looking back down at the file.

"No, your not. And you would feel a lot betther if you would talk about it. I know when something is bothering you Liv, I can tell," Elliot pried at her knowing she was about to bite his head off.

"Elliot, nothing is bothering me," she snapped, "what is it that you want me to talk about?" She never made eye contact with him knowing if she did, he would see the real her, the scared little girl hiding deep inside begging to be let out and needing to feel someone's touch so bad it ached.

Elliot grabbed her chin and made her look at him, "I know what your thinking Liv. Your thinking about your mom and your thinking about how you and Andrea Stinson are alike in so many ways."

She jerked her face away from his hands and shielded her teary eyes from his sight, "Elliot, I don't want to talk about this..."

"But you need to," he interrupted, "you are like Andrea in one big way. You won't let anyone get close. You can't stay in a relationship long enough for anything good to happen because your scared of getting close." Olivia stood up angrily and stormed around the couch but Elliot had seen it coming. He stepped in front of her blocking her way out of the living room. He could see her eyes glossing over but he knew she would refuse to cry. He continued, "You put up a wall around you and you won't let anyone in. You never talk about your problems and I...Liv are you scared of me? Are you afraid I'm going to get to close?" he said the last two sentences in a whisper.

Olivia pushed him backwards, "You already are! I'm not scared of you Elliot. I'm..." she closed her eyes to hold back her tears that were threatening to fall. Elliot grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back up against the wall gently, "Your what?" he pleaded. She looked back up at him with tears in her eyes, "I'm afraid of me," she whispered closing her eyes to him again.

"Why?" he asked quietly. She was so close to opening up. He hated seeing her cry but he knew it would help her to let it out. "Because I don't know what I'm capable of," tears finally streamed down her face. "I don't know what is inside of me, I dont know who I really am..." Suddenly Elliot covered her mouth with his. She resisted at first but he had her pushed up against the wall where she couldn't get away. Then she gave in. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. In between kissed he would whisper in her ear..."You are Olivia Benson...you are my partner...you are my best friend...you are a wonderful person." With each comment she let go a little more. They both felt a fire that had been burning for years and was now out of control. Their minds screamed that this was a mistake but their hearts were much louder. Elliot never meant to start this but he could never take it back.

"Elliot...this is wrong," Olivia said in between breaths. "I know," he said in a deep raspy voice.

"Do you care?" she asked as he kissed her neck and lifted her so that she was stradling him. "I care...about you," he said in a hungry voice. He wrapped his arms around her and she moaned her acceptance. "I want you...now," he said as he pushed her hard against the wall. "Elliot, the bedroom...go," she said between kisses. That was all he needed to hear. He wrapped his arms tighter and carried her to the bed.

After several hours they both slept ehausted in each others arms. Elliot was on his back and Olivia was laying on his chest with an arm draped across his body. He held her hand possesively as if to make sure she did not try to run away from him. Tonight, Olivia slept more sound than she had in years.


	3. Fury

**okay, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a few days but I have been camping with some friends and haven't been on the computer much. This chapter is mostly about the big case but it all ties into the story. Happy reading and DO NOT FORGET to REVIEW!**

Around three in the morning Olivia's call phone rang. She woke, startled to find herself in Elliot's arms. Finally, she pulled away to answer her phone, "Benson."

After hearing about another victim with the same MO as the one last night, Olivia told the officer on the other line she and her partner would be right there. When she turned around she found herself staring eye to eye with Elliot. He looked at her with so many questions in his eyes when he remembered what went on just a few hours earlier but what he seen in her eyes was a look of total regret.

"Elliot, this was a mistake," she said as she jumped out of bed pulling her robe around herself.

"Liv, don't..." Elliot started but she stopped him.

"Elliot, we are partners, best friends, and this could mess it all up. Not to mention we could be seperated and even transfered if this go out."

Elliot pulled on his boxers and walked towards her. He took her hand but she pulled away, "Elliot, we have another victim, we have to go. This can wait until later. Here is the address, I will meet you there," she said quickly as she handed him a slip of paper.

He stepped in front of her as she headed towards her closet, "Liv, we need to..."

"Later," she interrupted as she pushed past him, "get dressed, we need to go."

Elliot lowered his head in defeat because she was trying to push him away. He began to pull his clothes on, "I take it we aren't riding together?" he asked. "No, I'm gone. See ya at the scene," she said as she grabbed her gun and badge off the dresser and left him there alone.

"What do we got?" Olivia asked the officers at the scene. "Female, late twenties, no ID. Warner is with the body," one officer responded.

Olivia walked down to find Warner leaning over the body. "Same killer?" Olivia asked.

"Without a doubt," Warner responded, "Same torture marks, same cuts and bruises, knife to the heart is what killed her. She hasn't been dead for more than a few hours. Rigor is just now starting to set in."

Olivia nodded, "Same knife?"

Warner stood up and looked at Olivia, "Looks like it, but I will have to get her back to the morgue to be sure. Forensics will tell us more later as well...I haven't turned her over yet, do you want to do that now?"

"Let's go ahead and check. We have to find this guy," Olivia said.

"Check for what?" Elliot said as he joined the two women.

"To see if he marked her," Olivia said without making eye contact. Elliot nodded and turned towards the CSU guys, "Hey can we get a camera over here," he yelled.

Olivia knelt to help Warner sit the body up, "Elliot, we don't even know if there is going to be anything here," she said as they pulled the body up.

Sure enough the words 'bastard child' were written on her shoulder blade. Elliot pointed, "Call it a hunch."

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Please," she said coldly.

Warner looked back and forth at the two detectives. She could tell that something was a little off between them.

Elliot took a deep breath. Why was she being so cold to him. He decided to address it later. "Looks like we may have a serial killer on our hands," he said. Warner nodded. "You got a time of death for us doc?" Elliot asked Warner.

"Somewhere between 11 and 1 last night," Olivia said as she walked past him towards her car. She did not even bother saying bye to Warner. She couldn't even think with him standing next to her. She did not know why she was treating him like this. He wasn't just another lay, he was her partner and best friend, no more, no less. Yet she couldn't breathe around him and that scared her. He now knew her better than any man ever had. He had made her feel more vulnerable and weak, and then more passionate and beautiful in one night than anyone else had in her life. He brought every emotion inside her to the surface and that was something that terrified her to the core. She had to get a handle on it and in order to do that she had to get away from him.

Warner looked at Elliot with questioning eyes as Olivia walked away without another word. They both turned and watched her get in her car and pull away. "What's wrong with her?" Warner asked.

"I think this case is hitting her hard," he said. That was some of the truth but definately wasn't all of it.

Warner nodded in understanding knowing that there was something more. She also did not want to push. She knew about Olivia's past but she had never talked to her about it. She couldn't imagine what was running through her head right now but she also knew that Elliot was about the only person Olivia would open up to. "Just be there for her. That's all you can do. I will call you guys after the autopsy but if it is anything like the last girl, don't expect a lot." Warner said as she motioned for one of her assistants to come and get the body.

Olivia called missing persons on the way back to the precinct. She decided to keep herself busy and work this case like any other one. She was going to do her best just to act like nothing ever happened between her and Elliot no matter how hard that might be. She just wanted things back to normal.

"Missing persons came up with two matches. They should be faxing over the photos and information any minute now," Olivia told a tired looking Cragen that had his head propped up with his hand while sitting behind his desk.

"Was she marked just like the first vic?" he asked her.

"Yes, same word, same spot," Olivia answered.

"Where's your partner?" Cragen said looking around for Elliot.

"I left him at the crime scene. He will be here in a minute," she answered nonchalantly. She looked over her shoulder as she heard a commotion. It was Fin and Munch walking in together. "Are you guys arguing already? It is not even daylight yet," Olivia commented.

"We're not arguing. He's bithing and I am trying my best not to listen," Fin stated dryly.

"Here are those missing person reports," Cragen said handing Olivia the papers as he seen Elliot entering the precinct. "You two try to identify the victim," Cragen told Olivia and Elliot before he turned to Munch and Fin, "and you two start canvassing the surrounding buildings as soon as you see a ray of sun."

"Ugh, we always get stuck waking people up and pissing them off and then they never have anything to say," Munch complained.

Olivia leaned towards him with a small grin, "It's because the government somehow brainwashes them and screws with their short term memory," she said just loud enough for the other three detectives to hear.

"Don't get him started this early. I have to put up with him for the next 15 hours at least," Fin stated honestly as they all tried to muffle a laugh.

Elliot finally turned toward Olivia, "You ready to go to the morgue and compare the pictures with the vic?"

"Yea, I'll get my coat," Olivia said trying to act normal but never making eye contact and making sure their bodies did not brush when she walked by.

The second victims name was Molly Pate. She was 18 years old and had recently graduated from Christ the King High School. "What was a girl from Queens doing in Manhattan?" Olivia asked puzzled.

"Maybe he stalks his victims, I mean esspecially if he is picking them because they are products of rape." Elliot said while keeping a close eys on his partner's reaction.

"Let's just hold on a minute, don't jump to any conclusions. Go talk to her parents and get this girl's story." Cragen stated.

"Cap, I am willing to bet my next paycheck that this girl's story is the same as Andrea Stinson's," Elliot said.

"Maybe they knew each other. Is there any kind of support group or something that they could have went to?" Fin asked. All eyes except for Elliot's fell on Olivia. Elliot was standing close enough beside her that he could feel her nerves.

"What? Do I really seem like the kind of person who is going to go to any kind of support group. I don't think so!" Olivia snapped with a hint of sarcasm.

"Good point," Munch said simply.

"Oh and the missing persons report was filed by her roommate, not her parents. Maybe we should talk to her first," Olivia told the guys.

"You and Elliot go talk to the roommate and bring her down to ID the body," Cragen told Olivia before turning to Munch and Fin, "You two finish canvassing."

Olivia and Elliot arrived at Molly Pate's apartment a little after 7 am. Elliot knocked on the door and waited for the roommate to answer. Finally, the door opened and a middle aged woman, probably around 30, peered out. Elliot held up his badge and Olivia did the same. "Are you Anna Smith?" Elliot asked.

"Yes, is this about Molly?" the woman questioned as she held the door open them to enter.

"Yes, it is. I'm Detective Stable and this is my partner Detective Benson. We understand that you filed a missing persons report on Molly four days ago," Elliot stated.

"Yes, she never came home from work. I waited until the next day before I called the police. I thought maybe she would call but she never did," Anna cried.

"What about Molly's parents? Did you call them?" Olivia asked.

"Ha, Molly has never met her father and her mother was probably to drunk to notice that she hasn't called or came by in a week," Anna scoffed.

Elliot glanced at Olivia who was staring at the floor. He knew that was big blow and she was remembering her mother's same addiction. "We are going to need you to come with us. I'm sorry but I think wew may have found Molly last night in Manhattan," Elliot said as gently as possible.

"Oh my God! Is she alive?" Anna cried.

"I am so sorry Ms. Smith, but the girl we found was murdered," Olivia said softly.

They took Anna to the morgue and she identified the girl as Molly Pate. She also gave the detectives the address of Molly's mother and the place where Molly worked. Elliot and Olivia were now on their way to Sylivia Pate's apartment. Elliot could tell that Olivia was tense and nervous. "Liv, you okay?" he asked calmly.

"I'm fine," she responded shortly.

"Okay," Elliot said never breaking his calm tone.

"Let's just do this," she said getting out of the now parked car and putting her shaking hands in her pockets. 'Just keep it together Olivia. This is not the place to fall apart' she told herself.

Elliot could see how uneasy she was even though she was doing her best to hide it. He gently squeezed her shoulder, "Ready?" he asked.

"As, I'll ever be," she responded. She hated it because he knew exactly how she felt. She hated that she could not hide herself from him. No matter how hard she tried, he could see right through her facade. He noticed every detail from her shallow breath to her shaking hands that were hidden from his sight. He could tell in the way her voice cracked ever so slightly when she tried to be nonchalant with her tone. And still she tried to hide from him, to push him away even when she knew she needed someone to lean on. Why couldn't she just let him in. Why was she so afraid of someone getting close. She tried to shake these thoughts out of her head as they walked up the steps to Sylvia Pate's front porch. She just needed to focus on the case at hand right now.

Elliot knocked on the door to Mrs. Pate's house. He heard a loud thud and then heavy foot steps coming towards the door. "Who...is it?" asked a slurred voice on the other side of the door.

"Detective Stabler and Benson. We are here about your daughter, Molly," Elliot said with his badge held up to the peephole.

The door flew open and the woman stood there with a bottle of what looked and smelled like cheap whiskey. "What tha hell do ya wanna know bout Molly?" Mrs. Pate slurred staggering to the kitchen to get a glass.

"Mrs. Pate, when is the last time Molly visited?" Elliot asked.

Sylvia Pate stopped and looked up in thought, "Ya know, I dunno. Maybe about a week ago. Why, is she...in some kinda trouble?"

"Your daughter's body was found in an alley in Manhattan last night," Olivia said a little to bluntly. Elliot looked at her before turning back to Sylvia Pate.

"My daughter doesn't go to Manhattan. She lives here in Queens. You must be mistaken," she said as she took another drink.

"Mrs. Pate, I'm sorry but Molly's roommate has already identified the body," Elliot said with a little more sympathy than Olivia.

When Sylvia did not say anything and started to take another drink, Olivia walked over and jerked the glass out of her hand. She slammed the glass down on the counter, "Mrs. Pate, let's sit down and talk about your daughter. You need to try and pull it together so you can answer some questions. You do want us to catch the man that raped and murdered her don't you?" Olivia asked.

Sylvia stopped dead in her tracks, "My daughter was raped?" she asked, finally sounding a little sober.

"I'm glad I've got your attention. Now, do you know where Molly's father is?" Olivia said already knowing the anwer.

Sylvia looked at Olivia for a long time before she answered, "No, I don't. I don't even know who he is. But I will never forget his face. Molly looks just like him," she stopped, looking down at the floor.

Olivia felt a dagger in her stomach but she proceeded to question the woman, "Mrs. Pate, what are you trying to say?"

Sylvia started speaking slowly, "Eighteen years ago I was raped. Nine months later, Molly was born. I don't know why I decided to keep her. Truthfully, it was probably not the best thing to do. But I was raised against abortion and I can't really tell you why I turned down adaption. That would have probably been in Molly's best interest. You know, most women who are raped don't have to literally live with it for the next 18 years but I feel like that is what I had to do. Every time I looked at her for the first five years of her life, all I could see was him. It got better after that but it never went away. I tried to love her like any mother would love her daughter. I always told myself that it wasn't her fault, that she was innocent. But part of me just couldn't love her the way she needed to be loved."

Elliot looked at Olivia who had tears in her eyes, "Mrs. Pate, you had a choice. Don't try and get pity from us. You could have gave that little girl to someone who could love her and give her the life she deserved but instead you raised her in your hell..." Olivia spoke through clenched teeth until she felt Elliot's hand touch her arm, stopping her words instantly. Olivia turned and walked towards the door to take some deep breaths and get her emotions in check.

"Mrs. Pate, do you know anyone that knew Molly was a product of rape?" Elliot asked.

Sylvia nodded, "Her friend Anna. I don't know if she ever told anyone else. I know I didn't. Now, if you will please excuse me, I would like to mourn my daughter alone," she said glaring at Olivia.

Olivia just rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath. Elliot nodded at Mrs. Pate and put his hand on the small of Olivia's back, leading her out the door.

When Olivia got to the car she felt sick to her stomach. She leaned over with her hands on the hood to try to suppress the feeling but she had little luck. Elliot tried to touch her shoulder but she jerked away, "Liv."

"She barely even cried El," she said enraged. "We told her that her daughter was raped and murdered and she barely even cried."

"Liv, stop trying to see yourself here," he said quietly.

She looked at him and a single tear fell down her cheek, "Elliot, that was my life that she explained in there. She was the spitting image of my mother."

Elliot stepped closer and pulled her into a hug, and for the first time in her life she let someone hold her, comfort her. She leaned into him and quietly cried. He could feel her shoulders shaking in his arms and his heart broke for her. He didn't know what to say so he just held her until she pulled away. "You okay?" he asked.

She looked up at him, "Yeah, I'm sorry," she replied.

"For what?" he asked.

"For breaking down like that. I should have held it together in there," she said embarassed.

"Liv," Elliot said pushing her chin up so that she would look at him, "you are the strongest person I know. You have overcame so much in your life. You are so passionate in what you do and you are always thinking about others before yourself. Your only problem is that you always worry about what is inside you. Liv, you have nothing to worry about. In my opinion, your perfect," he said sincerely.

Olivia smiled a little, "El, I may be a lot of things, but perfect is not one of them. But thank you, I do feel better now."

"Glad I could help," he told her as he opened her door. She smiled again and stepped into the car.


	4. Tense

**okay I know that is has been forever since I have updated but I apologize. I have been very busy camping at the lake but now I have to work almost every day so maybe I can update more often. **

**Anyways...enough about me. Thank you to the few people that reviewed the story. I live for reviews...good or bad, I want to know what you think. Please please send more reviews...let me know if you like the way things are going or if you maybe want to see something different. **

**Well enough of that...on with the story.**

It was now close to noon and Olivia and Elliot were walking into the morgue.

"Find anything?" Elliot asked as soon as he seen Warner.

"No, nothing. He left no fluids and no DNA." Warner answered.

Just then Olivia's phone rang. "Benson...okay, thanks." She closed her phone and looded at her partner, "Forensics confirms it was the same murder weapon."

Elliot nodded, "We assumed that. This is just great. We have two dead girls, a probable serial killer, and absolutely nothing to go on. We need to get Huang in for a profile."

Olivia looked at Elliot as if he was missing something, "Elliot we do have one lead. He targets products of rape. We need to figure out how he is finding them. Let's get back to the house and look up the old case reports on the mothers, assuming they reported their rapes.

"How the hell is that going to help? We have one case in Manhattan and one case in Queens. You actually think they are related?"

Olivia glared at him momentarily, "Elliot, you drive from Queens to Manhattan every day. It is not completely out of the realm of possibilty."

"Fine," Elliot said impatiently before he turned to Warner, "Call us if you find anything else."

"Will do, but don't hold your breath," she said with a slight grin. "You two try not to kill each other."

Both detectives rolled their eyes at Warner's last comment. They then turned and headed for the door. Olivia walked side by side with Elliot but she never glanced his way the whole way to the car. She just glared at the ground in front of her and Elliot could feel the tension between them rising with every step.

"Look, I'm sorry. I don't know why I got so offensive," he apologized.

"Whatever Elliot," she said as she stared straight ahead.

He sighed because he knew she wasn't about to let him off the hook that easily. "We could stop for lunch on the way back."

"Not hungry," she said shortly.

"Okay look Olivia, I said I was sorry. We are both tired and grouchy and I let it get the best of me in there. You know I am with you 100 on this case and you are not going to get anything accomplished by acting like a child," he said instantly regretting it.

Anger flashed through her like a lightning bolt. She instantly stopped and turned toward him, her brown eyes dark with rage. She started to speak and then paused, "You know, this isn't even worth arguing over."

"Oh no you don't. I made one comment and now you are so pissed you can't even talk to me. What the hell is your deal?" Elliot said stepping in between her and the car.

"My deal, MY DEAL is that you are acting like a burnt out egotistical selfish son of a bitch that doesn't want to do real police work, he just wants to call in the shrink. Then what Elliot? Do you really think we are going to find this guy by a profile that a psychologist puts together? That isn't even like you." By now Olivia was inches away from his face and he could feel her anger under his skin.

"I didn't even mean in like it sounded. Why do you always do this?" he snapped back.

She glared at him, "Do what?"

"Every time you get too close to a case you take everything so personal. I did not mean to doubt you. Like I said, I'm just..."

"Tired, yeah El, welcome to the NYPD. Newsflash, everyone is tired. And I apologize for caring so much about my cases. I am sorry that I want to get this guy off the street before he kills again."

She paused to get a breath and Elliot stepped forward and leaned in toward her face, "Liv, I am sorry for what I said but you know as well as I do that the chances of those cases being related are slim to none. I agree that we should check and look into each one but I don't think that we should spend all day doing it. And Liv, I know this case hits close to home, but you have to let go of your past and quit thinking of yourself during this case or it is going to destroy you."

She rolled her eyes even though she knew he was right, she was just as stubborn if not more so than him and she wasn't about to give in, "Thank you Elliot, for your two cents, but I don't need you telling me how to deel with my personal issues. Your my partner, not my shrink."

Elliot put his hands up in defense and moved so she could get into the car. "No, but maybe you should think about seeing one," he mumbled just loud enough for her to hear.

She turned back toward him with her icy glare, "Screw you." She stared at him for another moment before getting into the car and slamming her door. He then walked around the car and slid into the drivers seat. 'This is going to be a long day' he thought to himself as they started the silent tension filled ride back to the precinct.

Around one they were back at the 1-6 going over old case files. Both women had reported their rapes but only one man was caught and prosecuted. His name was Bill Hix and he was paroled in 97.

"Check this out. His last known address is right here in Manhattan," Fin said.

"Go check him out," Cragen told Elliot and Olivia. They grabbed their coats and were out the door.

They hadn't spoken to each other since they arrived and everyone could feel the tension between them. Cragen simply ignored it hoping they would take care of it like they normally did but he also knew how much stress Olivia was under which meant she wasn't talking to anyone. He knew how she bottled everything up and how Elliot usually got the blunt end of things when she decided to vent. He also knew that Elliot was the best person to handle her so he decided to give him a chance to do so. Cragen just hoped that Elliot wasn't the problem and decided if things stayed this tense between the two he would confront Olivia about it when he got a chance.

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"Its been a long day," Elliot said as thay drove towards Hix's apartment. Olivia nodded and let out a little huff as if to say 'no shit'. Elliot knew she was still angry and that he wouldn't get anything out of her until she cooled off or broke down. Until then he knew he would just have to put up with her cold stares and icy tone.

When they got to Hix's apartment noone was home. "You have his work address?" Elliot asked.

Olivia shook her head, "Wasn't one listed."

"Hmm, well I guess we can wait for a while since this is the only lead we have," Elliot said as they walked back to the car. Olivia remained silent.

They waited for around an hour before they seen Hix walking towards his apartment. "You think he'll run?" Elliot asked.

"One way to find out," Olivia said as she stepped out of the car and walked towards Hix. "Bill Hix?" she asked flashing her badge.

Hix stopped and started stepping backwards slowly.

"Hey, we just want to talk to you," Olivia told him as Elliot proceeded to follow her.

Hix shook his head as he turned to flee. "I'm on it" Olivia shouted, "Get the car." Seeing that Olivia was a lot closer to the suspect and at least a good thirty feet from Elliot, he didn't have much of a choice. Elliot turned and ran to the car hoping that she was okay and didn't do anything stupid.

When Elliot pulled around the corner of the alley Hix had ran into he seen that Olivia had Hix pinned against the wall cuffing him. After she read him his rights she slung him into the back of the sedan. "Let's get him to the house," she said as she stepped into the passenger's side of the car.

---------------------------------------------

"Why am I here? I did nothing wrong!" Hix said when Elliot and Olivia entered the interrogation room.

"You resisted arrest, genius. Last time I checked people didn't do that unless they had something to hide." Elliot said sarcastically as Olivia took a seat across the table from Hix.

"Where were you the last two nights in between 11pm and 1 in the morning?" she asked flatly.

Hix smiled and leaned towards her, "At home in bed, call my girlfriend. She'll tell you" he responded.

"What's her name and address?" she asked him.

"Her name is Kim Shaw and she will be at my house around 10 tonight. Here is her number," Hix handed Olivia a peace of paper with a number on it..

Both detectives walked out to talk to Cragen, Munch, and Fin. "Munch, go and give Ms. Shaw a call and see if her story matches."

Munch took the number from Olivia and headed towards the bull pen. Cragen then turned to the pair. "So, what's your take?" he asked them.

"As bad as I hate to say it," Olivia said, "I think he is telling the truth. But I'm not ready to dismiss him quite yet."

Cragen nodded, "Okay, you two get back in there and try to shake him up a little bit."

After an hour of grilling Hix, the two detectives walked out exhausted. "Captain, either he is telling the truth or he is a damn good liar," Elliot said.

"He's telling the truth," Munch interjected. "Girlfriend says he was home all night and I don't think she was lying."

"What took so long?" Olivia asked him.

Munch shrugged, "That number was her work number and they said she was on a break so I had to wait for her to get back."

"Cut him loose," Cragen said, "and find out where Huang is."

"So we are just taking his word and the alibi of his girlfriend?" Elliot asked.

"Elliot we have nothing to hold him on and my gut says he isn't our guy," Olivia responded.

Elliot rolled his eyes "Liv, he's a convicted rapist. I would like to take a closer look at this guy, maybe let Huang talk to him."

Olivia opened her mouth to respond but Cragen interrupted, "Okay, Huang can talk to him, but if he doesn't suspect anything we move on. We need to find this guy."

"Deal," Elliot said walking away.

"We're wasting our time with this guy," Olivia said with a hint of anger.

"Let's be sure before we just forget about him," Cragen said harshly.

----------------------------------

"That's not your guy," Huang said as he exited the interrogation room."

"Thank you, know can we move on?" Olivia said.

"Cut him loose. Huang can you help us with a profile?" Cragen asked.

"Sure, let me just read over the case one more time to make sure I know every detail." Huang said as he bagan looking over the file.

Elliot and Olivia both walked to the coffee pot simultaneously to get coffee. After Elliot took a small drink he grabbed Olivia's arm before she could do the same. "Don't drink that!" he choked with a disgusted look on his face.

"I'll be back in a minute," he said.

She turned to walk back to her desk knowing he was going to get coffee at the coffeeshop on the corner.

When he returned he had two cups of coffee and two cream cheese danishes. He knew neither one of them had eaten lately and she had to be starving. He placed the coffee and the danish on her desk without a word.

"Thanks," she said. She hated when they fought because they were both to stubborn to appologize. Usually after they cooled off they just forgot about the fight and acted like it had never happened, which was exactly what she was ready to do.

Huang was now ready to start the profile. "So, does our guy suffer from any mental illnesses or what?" Munch asked sarcastically. Fin just rolled his eyes.

"It's to soon to tell," he said.

"Well what can you tell us," Elliot asked impatiently.

"Well, obviously this is a smart perp. Probably white male, mid thirties to early forties. Someone who doesn't stand out in a crowd. For him to hold these girls for days and not leave a trace of evidence on them is almost impossible. This guy also has something against children of rape. He feels like they were a burden on their mother and he feels as if he is easing the mothers pain and suffering an possibly the victims suffering as well. He quite possibly is the child of rape or is very close to someone that is. The only thing I don't understand is how he is finding his victims. From what I understand, the two victims weren't even acquaintances and it wasn't a well known fact that they were chilren of rape. My guess is, find out how he is finding his vics, and that will lead you to his identity." Huang finished.

Huang walked over to Olivia and spoke to her softly so the rest of the squadroom wouldn't here, "Liv, his victims are children of rape. That makes you a potential target so watch your back."

Olivia looked at him with narrowed eyes, "Thanks for worrying, but I can take care of myself."

Elliot studied her body language. The thought of Olivia being a target had already crossed his mind and he knew that is what Huang had told her. He knew she had thought about it too which is why she was do defensive towards Huang.Olivia could feel his eyes on her, "What?" she snapped.

"Nothing" Elliot got up and walked towards the bathroom with Olivia hot on his trail. "You coming in with me?" he said sarcastically turning around to face her.

"Elliot, I'm going to warn you now, don't go all big brother on me because I hate it when you guys do that. I can handle myself and this guy isn't evenafter me."

"Liv, unless thsi guy threatens you, you have my word that I won't be any more protective than usual. Okay?" he said sincerely.

Olivia nodded then turned and walked back towards the squadroom.

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!**


	5. Nightmare

**Sorry I have taken so long to update...I have had a small case of writers block but hopefully that is over now. Thank you to the few people that have reviewed. I really look forward to reading them and I really want to know what everybody thinks. I will try to pack more action into this chapter. Well enough of that...on with the story.**

Around 8:30 pm Cragen walked out of his office looking exhausted. "Munch, Fin, go talk to the roommate and get some more background information about Molly. I want to know everything from who her friends were to what kind of syrup she ate on her pancakes."

Munch and Fin jumped up, grabbed their coats and were out the door without a word.

Cragen then turned to Olivia and Elliot, "You two go grab a couple hours in the crib. I'll wake you if anything comes up. Starting at 11 we are getting out on the streets. I know it's a long shot but we have had two girls dumped in two different alleys in the last two nights and I want to take every precaution to prevent a third."

Elliot sighed, "What about you captain? You've been awake just as long as we have."

"Don't worry about me. I'll take a short nap in my office but I need to stay by the phone." Elliot nodded at him as he turned and headed for the crib. Olivia followed shortly behind.

As soon as they walked in the door Elliot immediately locked it and wrapped his arms around Olivia pulling her into a deep kiss. Elliot let his hands run down her back and back up to the base of her neck. Olivia leaned into him as her knees started trembling.

After a few moments Elliot pulled back, "We have to stop."

Olivia nodded in agreement, not trusting herself to speak. She leaned her forehead on his chest while taking deep breaths trying to regain her composure. She finally pulled back and turned to walk to one of the beds, "You better unlock the door or Cragen will really be asking questions."

"Okay, but we need to talk sometime." Elliot turned and unlocked the door.

Olivia ran her fingers through her hair and closed her eyes. She was overloaded with pressure and stress. This case was slowly killing her and this thing with Elliot was scaring the hell out of her. She did not want to talk because she didn't know what to say. Her body ached for him but she still knew it was wrong. Technically he was still married because his divorce was far from final. It could also really mess things up at work. However, Olivia couldn't bring herself to tell him that she didn't want him. She knew he would see right through her facade. So she said the only thing she could think of. "Look El, I'm tired. Let's just get some sleep," she never even turned around. She knew he could read her face like a book and she did not want to show anymore fear or vulnerability.

Elliot sighed, "Fine," he said quietly. He made his way to the bed next to one she was standing beside.

They both laid down without another word.

Thirty minutes later Elliot woke up to a tossing and turning Olivia. He got up and leaned over her. He could see tears in her eyes and sweat on her forehead and under her nose. "Liv...Liv wake up," he said gently shaking her. She quickly sat straight up in the bead and grabbed Elliot's arm with tears running down her face.

He could feel her trembling as she started crying harder. He took her in his arms, "Liv, it was a nightmare. Your okay now. I've got you." He continued holding her until she started to calm down. Eventually her breathing was close to normal and she had almost stopped shaking.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked already knowing the answer.

She slowly shook her head and closed her eyes trying to suppress any more tears that may threaten to fall. "Just hold me," she said not caring about her surroundings.

They laid down together and he kept his arms securely wrapped around her. He watched her closely as she fell asleep and she seemed to be sleeping much more sound this time. Elliot finally started to drift off but he would wake up every time she would flinch. He was very concerned about her and this case. He knew how close she was to the edge and it was his job to make sure she didn't fall.

Around 11:00 Elliot awoke to Cragen's voice, "Elliot, what the hell is going on?" he screamed in a whisper.

Elliot looked up at Cragen confused and then looked down to see Olivia still laying in his arms sound asleep. He gently moved out from under her and walked out motioning for Cragen to follow. When they were outside the crib Elliot finally spoke, Cap, it is not what is looked like," he said knowing he would have to give a better explanation than that.

"Elliot your going to have to make a better argument than that. It sure as hell better not be what it looked like. IAB would have a field day with you two. There are already enough suspicions. Don't add fuel to the fire," Cragen paused for a minute taking a deep breath and running his hand over his face.

Elliot took Cragen's pause as an opportunity to further explain himself. "Look, your right. It did look bad but you don't understand. No matter how cool and calm she looks or acts, this case is hitting her pretty hard. She was having some kind of nightmare and woke up crying and shaking. I did what I had to to calm her down and if I had to I would do it again. She was really shaken up."

Cragen looked a little shocked at the thought of Olivia being that upset. She only shed a few silent tears when he had broke the news to her about her mother dying. He knew Olivia very seldom broke down so he concluded that it must have been one hell of a nightmare. "Elliot, you are lucky it was me that walked in there."

"Look Cap, nothing happened, you know that. I have never seen Olivia as vulnerable until tonight and I'll be damned if I was going to lay there and not do anything about it. She just needed someone to be there to hold her and reassure her and I just happen to be here. That's as far as it goes." Elliot assured him.

"You and I both know that is not as far as it goes. Take care of her Elliot but make sure it stays professional. It wasn't even two weeks ago when I was wishing you two would get back on the same page but this is not what I expected. I don't want to know what, if anything, goes on behind closed doors. Make sure to keep it that way." Cragen said strictly.

"Captain, nothing is going on. How can I prove that to you?" Elliot asked. He hated lying to his Captain because he was also his friend. However, Elliot knew that this was the best thing for all parties involved because if Cragen knew of a relationship between partners he would have to report it or face whatever consequences IAB threw at them.

"That's just it Elliot, you can't." Cragen rubbed his hand over his face and decided to change the subject. If Olivia was having this much trouble keeping it together maybe it wasn't worth putting her through. "Do you think I should pull her off the case?"

"No, I think that would be the worst thing to do." Elliot responded. He knew if she was pulled from the case she would just shut herself off in her apartment and bottle everything deep inside and that would surely break her.

Cragen sighed, "Okay, you know what goes on inside her head better than anyone I suppose. What do you think we should do?"

Elliot thought for a moment. 'I can think of a few ways that I can take her mind off the case. Of course Cragen definitely doesn't need to hear about them.' Elliot shook his head to clear that thought before he responded, "Nothing. As long as she feels like she is doing her job and making progress she will be fine. If we treat her different or 'baby' her as she would say, I think she will blow up. I will admit that I am worried about her but pushing her to slow down or to talk will just upset her more. Can you trust me to come to you if her feelings start getting in the way of her job?"

Cragen sighed again before he slowly nodded. "Just keep an eye on her. I have a bad feeling about this case and I want two of my best working to their best. Now, go wake her up and you two hit the streets. I am going to let Munch and Fin sleep for a couple hours and then they will join you. Check out anything that looks suspicious"

Elliot nodded, "Do you mind if we maybe run by and pick up an extra set of clothes because I have a feeling I will be showering here in the morning?"

"That's fine with me. Just keep your radio with you in case something goes down. I want you two responding to any calls that come in that involve a girl and an alley." Cragen said.

Cragen turned to walk away and then paused, "Oh and Elliot, don't ever let me catch you two like that again, especially in the crib."

"Yea, sorry Cap. I just...didn't know what else to do." Elliot said truthfully.

"I know, but if someone else would have seen that and reported it..." Cragen trailed off shaking his head, "It's just a good way to get separated. That's all," he finished as he walked out and headed back to the bullpen.

Elliot slowly walked back into the crib to wake Olivia. He knew Cragen was right. If someone else had walked in and reported them it could have meant they were in deep trouble. He really didn't know what kind of trouble they could get into. As far as he knew relationships between partners were frowned upon but there was no written rule about them. He also knew that if IAB found out they would be watching them like a hawk just waiting for one of them to make a mistake.

Elliot stood in the doorframe and watched her sleep. She lay with a hint of the light from the door reflecting off of her light brown hair. She looked so peaceful as she slept, unlike before. He slowly walked over and sat down on the bed beside her. He rubbed his hand down her arm gently in an attempt to wake her up without startling her. "Olivia," he whispered.

Just as quickly as he had said her name she clenched tightly to his shirt as she sat straight up with wide eyes. "What...what is it?" she asked, never releasing his shirt. He sat close and wrapped his arms around her. She tensed at first and tried to pull away but when she realized where she was and who he was she relaxed a little and leaned into him.

She brought her hands to her face and took a few deep breaths. "You okay?" Elliot whispered into her ear sending chills down her spine and triggering a warm feeling deep inside. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"What time is it?" she asked after a few moments.

"Time to go," he whispered seductively in her ear. "Want to swing by your apartment and grab some clean clothes? I have some in my car."

She thought for a moment. She knew what he wanted and she wanted it just as bad. Against her own judgment she agreed without saying a word. He stood up and lifted her off of the bed. He pulled her towards him, as close as they could get without touching. She could feel his breath on her neck as he ran his thumb across her lower back, raising bumps on every inch of skin he touched. She felt her knees weaken as he circled his touch around to her stomach, just below her navel.

"Elliot," she struggled, "not...here." That was all she could say before he crashed his lips into hers. One quick yet deep passionate kiss that left her completely breathless and he was grabbing his coat.

"You coming?" he asked as if nothing happened.

Olivia just stood for a moment in silence. Finally she shook her head a little to try and clear it, "Um, yea...right behind you."

He grinned a cocky grin and proceeded through the door with her following a few steps behind.

**Okay, so there is a lil' bit of a cliffhanger but I already have the next chapter written. How quickly it gets posted all depends on your reviews and trust me, the next chapter is a good one if I may say so myself, however, it does have some R rated material so I will draw a divider and you can just read before and after. Well, that about does it...**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**


	6. Passion

**Okay...First I want to make sure everyone knows that I do not own these characters...they belong to Dick Wolf just like they always have.**

**Now, this chapter has some R rated material in it so if you don't want to read that part just read to the divider and then scroll down to the other divider before you start reading again. Also, this chapter picks up directly after the fifth chapter ends. **

**And BTW, since the last chapter didn't have any case in it this will have a little more. However, this story is meant to focus more on OE and their trials and tribulations than on the case itself.**

**That said...on with the story!**

As Olivia and Elliot made their way to her apartment they both ached with anticipation. She had told herself this would not happen again yet here she was and there was no way she could stop. Her body wouldn't let her. She needed this. It made her feel whole, even if it was only for a very small amount of time. It was just sex, that is what she kept telling herself. It is completely physical and external and something they both needed. No one knew anything about it and that is just the way she wanted to keep it.

The thought of him still being married kept crossing her mind and everything inside her told her this was wrong but she didn't care. She needed to feel him. And she knew he felt the same way.

They walked to her apartment without one word between them. He placed his hand on the small of her back which was a relatively normal movement but this time it made her skin tingle.

The second they closed her door they were crashing into each other with every ounce of passion that had been building up since their last encounter.

**R Material**

He immediately went for her belt and he had her bottom half naked before she knew it. She quickly unbuttoned his shirt while he worked on his own pants.

He pinned her up against the wall and pushed her up until her legs were wrapped around him. "El, we have to hurry," she gasped.

"Not gonna be a problem," he assured her as he pushed into her hard. She let out a desperate gasp from pain and pleasure at the same time.

"You okay?" he asked afraid he might have hurt her. All she could do was nod her head and then he pushed into her again. He kept raising her body and pushing into her deeper and deeper until she was gasping for breath. She pushed her head back against the wall and he scraped his teeth against her neck hard. She was so caught up she didn't even feel it.

"Oh my God!" she gasped. This only caused him to go harder and faster. He was making sure to keep an eye on her face to make sure he wasn't hurting her. Ever so often he thought he saw a hint of pain followed by a gasp of pleasure.

"You ready?" he asked. "Whenever you are," she said in between breaths, trying to hold on until he gave her the word.

"Okay," he said as he got faster and deeper just when she thought she had no more room to give. They quickly reached their heights together. She let out several small cries of ecstasy and he just moaned deep in his throat.

"Wow," she said as her breathing finally slowed. They were still up against the wall and he was still inside her. "I've never done that before."

Elliot looked at her confused, "You mean you've never..." he trailed off.

She smiled sheepishly, "Oh yea, that I have done, but never that long and never while I was being shoved into the wall."

"Did I hurt you?" he asked concerned that he may have gotten a little to carried away.

She smiled and kissed him softly, "Nothing I couldn't handle," she said seductively before she kissed him again. They kissed softly for a moment before he started to deepen it. She finally pulled back as she felt him start to stiffen again, "El, we have to get out on the street. We can't start this again."

He lowered his head and leaned into her trying to catch his breath. "I know." He slowly lowered her to the floor and kissed her one last time before they both started to find their clothes and redress, getting ready for the long sleepless night ahead.

"We have to get moving," she said. "We can come back and shower after we make our rounds on the street."

"I can't wait," he said as they headed for the door.

**End of R Material**

Olivia and Elliot were out driving around the streets of Manhattan by a little after midnight. They rode around and around for two hours and saw nothing. Now they were getting restless and extremely tired.

"Maybe we should pack in for the night," Elliot suggested.

"You better radio Cragen and see what he has to say about that," Olivia replied yawning.

Elliot picked up his radio and held the button, "Hey Cap, we haven't seen anything and we have been out here for over two hours. It is not in this guys MO to drop a body after this time. Should we call this a night?"

A few seconds later Captain Cragen's voice beamed over the radio, "It may not be in his MO to kill or drop a body after this time but we don't know that he hasn't already done just that and we just didn't see him. Stop for a break, get some coffee and something to eat, and get back on the street. Munch and Fin are both driving down every dark alley within a two mile radius of the first two vics so they're gonna need your help. No one is going to get much sleep until we have this guy in custody or until he stops killing altogether."

Elliot rubbed his face before replying, "Yes sir." He put the radio back in its holder in the car.

"Let's get some coffee and food and take a bathroom break. Sounds like we still have a long night ahead" Olivia said as she readjusted in the passenger's seat.

"Yea, this is not exactly what I had in mind for a long night," Elliot smirked.

She cut her eyes at him, "Shut up," was all she said. She felt the same way but the job always had to come first and they could not let their personal life interfere with that no matter how tempting it was.

"Sorry, I was just joking anyways. But in all truth, I can't wait until we find this guy because I can't take many more nights like this. I'm drained and I'm sure you are too," he said sincerely.

She nodded her head, "Yea, no joke. Hey, pull into that coffee shop."

"Aren't you hungry?" he asked

"Yea, and they have sweet stuff which is exactly what I'm craving," she replied.

"Fine but we have to go and get me some real food. I am not big on coffee shop sweets, and neither were you last time I checked." he said looking at her confused.

"Elliot, it is the middle of the night. I am really low on energy and I am hoping caffeine and sugar will pick me up some. Besides, I don't usually eat sweets because they are unhealthy, not because I don't like them. And by the way, sweets can't be near as bad as those huge greasy burgers you love so much. They are so gross," she said making a face.

"How can you say that. Who doesn't like burgers?" he asked.

"I will only eat turkey burgers. They don't have near the grease on them." Olivia replied.

"Yea, and sugar is so much better for you than grease," he said as he parked the car.

"Well, maybe not, but it tastes a hell of a lot better than Crisco," she said sarcastically as she exited the car and started towards the small coffee shop.

Elliot ended up taking Olivia's advice and eating some of the blueberry scones. They were actually pretty good to his surprise but he would never let her know that.

After the coffee shop they were back on the street for another three hours straight. "This is getting ridiculous," Olivia finally said after driving through what felt like the thousandth alley in Manhattan. She was now driving and Elliot was in the passenger's seat doing everything in his power to stay awake.

He grabbed the radio, "Anything yet Captain?"

"No, it's almost 5:30. You guys head home and get a couple hours sleep and a shower and be here by 10. Hopefully nothing will go down in between now and then." Cragen replied.

"You got it," Elliot said before Cragen could change his mind.

"Ah, we finally get to sleep," Olivia said while yawning.

They drove to her apartment in silence. When they got there they were both exhausted. "I will take the couch." Elliot said unbuttoning his shirt.

"El, come on. We can share the bed. Your feet hang off the end of the couch anyways. That can't be comfortable," Olivia suggested.

"That sounds good to me," he said as he followed her into her room.

They both undressed and Olivia slid on some shorts and a tank top while Elliot opted for his boxers. She climbed into bed first while he went to the bathroom. When he climbed into bed he wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed the back of her neck. 'He just doesn't know when to quit' she thought to herself as a small smile played on her lips.

His hand played with her shirt until it came to rest on the bare skin of her stomach right above her shorts. He had already found her weak spot and he knew it. She snuggled into him a little more and they both drifted off to a peaceful dreamless sleep.

At 8 am her alarm on her phone went off. Elliot moaned as she reached to the night stand to get it. "Hit snooze," he suggested.

"El, we have to be in at 10 and we both have to take a shower. One of us has to get up now."

He tightened his hold around her stomach, "Not necessarily. We can both get up at the same time," he whispered playfully.

"My God, is that all you think about. I mean seriously..." she trailed off as he started rubbing her stomach right above the band of her shorts.

**R Rated Material**

"Now," he said, "tell me what your thinking about."

"El, we have to..." she stopped again as his hand found its way under her waste band. She pressed back against him as his hand inched lower.

"We have to what?" he asked smugly.

"Uh, why do you do this to me," she whispered then let out a small moan as he dipped two fingers between her now parted thighs.

"How about that shower now?" he asked as he pulled his hand out of her shorts.

Olivia opened her eyes, "Your such an ass," she said as she got up to go to the shower.

He let her start the water and listened for her to climb in before he went into the bathroom. She knew what he was doing. He loved the power he had over her and there was nothing she could do about it. He loved getting her hot and bothered and leaving her wanting more. He quietly snuck into the bathroom and undressed. Then he climbed into the shower to surprise her.

"Yea, I knew you would be in here wanting something," she said as she turned her back to him.

God she was beautiful. He stood and took her in before stepping right behind her and in the flow of the steaming water and pulling her to him. He ran his hands over her breasts and her stomach and then on each side of her thighs. She lifted one leg and propped it on the side of the shower to give him easier access but he turned her around to face him and grabbed her lifted leg to lock it around his wasted.

"You don't waste much time do you Stabler?" she remarked.

"We don't have much time. Plus, there is really no need for foreplay. I can get the job done without it," he said in his most cocky tone. He then kissed her hard and full of passion. She kissed back just as hard as she reached up above her head to grab the towel rack. She pulled herself up so that he could take his position underneath her. He pulled her down onto him never breaking their kiss.

As he pushed deeper she pulled her head back and gasped. "You okay?" he said as he paused to check.

"Yea, I'm good. Just a little soar but please, don't stop. Just go easy for a minute." she asked.

"Let me know if it hurts Liv, we don't have to do this," he assured her.

"I want you El, just go slow," she begged.

He slowly pushed in and out until she started speeding him up. "Okay El, I think I'm okay now," she said kissing him.

"Let me know if its too fast," he said as he started speeding up and pushing a little deeper each time. She felt herself start to go. She let out a deep moan and threw her head back against the wall, "Go El, go now!" she gasped bringing him even closer to the edge.

In thirty seconds they were both coming down off their high. "Your amazing Liv," he told her as he kissed her neck and then her lips.

"Mmm, your not too bad yourself Stabler," she replied. "But we have to finish bathing and get out of here. The water is going to get cold."

**End R Material**

He turned and took her shampoo into his hands and squirted enough for the both of them. He applied some to her hair and massaged it in before he done his own. They rinsed and she put conditioner on while he washed both of them. She had never let a man wash her body before but something about him made her comfortable.

They finished and got out of the shower. Olivia brushed her hair while looking in the mirror and Elliot heard her gasp suddenly. "What is it Liv?" he asked quietly.

"El, did you bite my neck?" she asked in a panic. His lips formed a small smile as the memory washed over him. "Oops, I didn't know I left a mark. I must have been caught up." he said.

"Elliot, this isn't funny, how am I going to hide this?" she asked hysterically.

"Where a turtleneck," he suggested.

"Oh yea Elliot, I haven't worn a turtleneck in two years. I don't even know if I still own one." she replied sarcastically.

"Well, will your hair not cover it up. No one will probably even notice," he said trying to think.

"Munch will notice. He is very observant and he doesn't mind asking a lot of questions. He also happens to be very nosy!"

"Man, I didn't think you bruised easily," he said scratching his head.

"I don't!" she snapped.

"Look Liv, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to leave a mark," he apologized.

"Elliot, it's not that I mind you leaving a mark. I would just prefer that it wasn't in a place that it can be seen so easily." she said in a quieter tone this time. She took the hair dryer and started on her hair. Maybe if she got lucky her hair would cover it. She would just have to remember to keep it covered and not forget about it. She just prayed that Munch didn't see it. He would have a field day with something like this. Even though he wouldn't think it was from Elliot he would still give her hell about it. Elliot would probably even laugh at Munch's comments.

"Your such an ass," she told him as she thought about putting up with Munch.

Elliot looked at her, "I said I was sorry. What else do you want me to do?" he asked.

"When much is cracking jokes or asking questions, I don't want you to say a damn thing. Don't laugh, don't smile, and don't encourage him. You got it?" she said sternly.

"Don't you think that will look a little fishy?" he asked.

"If anyone askes, tell them I have already bit your head off about it this morning." she said.

They finished getting ready in silence. They arrived at work at about five till ten. Cragen spotted them quickly after they walked in, "You two, my office."

The two detectives looked at each other, "Wonder what we did," Elliot said.

Olivia's stomach dropped as soon as she had heard Cragen's tone. 'Surely he doesn't know about us, there is no way' she thought to herself.

They went in and had a seat in front of their Captain.

**Well, there you go, another cliffhanger. I will probably not be updating until early next week or sometime after the fourth. It all really depends on how many reviews I get. I don't care if they are good or bad I just want to know what you think. Yes you, your opinion matters to me very much, so click on that little review button...you know you want to!**

**REVIEW...REVIEW...REVIEW**


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